(Press Release)
(AP) Feb 21- After a generous infusion of financing from a well known venture capital firm ($20 of lucky money from Mom on Chinese New Year), the creators of the ultra-trendy blog "heatons.blogspot.com" are proud to introduce a new and exciting endeavor in social networking, entitled "heaton.blogspot.com".
In making the announcement, Brook Heaton, Chairman and CEO of heatons.blogspot.com, stated: "We feel like this is a great opportunity to expand our content into other niche areas. Since 99.9% of the Internet is total crap, we'd like a piece of that pie. Instead of reading the mindless drivel commonly found on other blogs and websites, you will be able to get that [and less] here."
Mr. Heaton stated that Sean Heaton would be named Acting Chairman and CEO of the new site, and that Sean would be blamed for screwing it up, irregardless of who was at fault or whether there were actually any problems. The "Acting" title would be changed to "Permanent" if Sean reached certain performance goals and incentives, such as minutes played and touchdown dances.
Said Sean Heaton: "I eagerly look forward to use my new powers to refute the lies and innuendo perpetrated by heatons.blogpost.com. While I can't comment any further per the judge's gag order and on the advice of my legal team, I can confidently state that heaton.blogpost.com will catch up to, and ultimately surpass its sad predecessor. My first order of business will be to disband Parliament."
The new site will go live whenever Sean Heaton gets around to posting something.
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